I really should just rename my blog to 'dreams I've had about Liz.' Nothing will fuck me up like dreaming about her. NOTHING.

Usually I humor myself and allow those dreams to go on as long as possible; Lucid dreaming ftw. Lately, though...I just can't do it. It just makes it worse, and frankly I can't take it any more.

I need to keep myself distracted or I'm going to go mad. Assuming I haven't already.

Holy shit. I've had dreams weird me out before. I've had dreams depress me before. I can honestly say that, until now, I never had a dream truly terrify me. I'm not even sure I really want to talk about it. Here goes.

I dream about Liz a lot, but this one was different. I dreamed about Liz...for like eight hours. From the time I fell asleep until the time I woke up. It was great, actually. I was comfortable allowing myself to get lost in my imagination for a time, pretend it was real...you know. Then, right at the end, I remember it vividly. We were hanging out in the dorms again, oldschool...I went back to my room to get something, and when I came back...she was gone. No where to be found. I looked everywhere. Just *poof*.

I don't know why (though I can guess) but that scared me more than anything real or imaginary that I've ever experienced, and I've seen some shit.

Goddamnit.

Just goddamnit.

Current Mood: scared

Looks like I'm going to need a new statue for my altar, now. A big one. Seems this time it's for keeps, too. If I pass the next two tests I'll have secured my passage to Elysium and certified myself as truly blessed by the gods. For an Irish guy living in America, this is an unusual state of affairs.

I only realized I'd been tested in the first place days later while researching a very peculiar, and rather frightening series of events. It began a week ago during a sudden thunderstorm which caused our power to go out. This hardly bothered me, as darkness has never, at any time, bothered me. The moment the sun set our apartment was accosted by bats, fluttering wildly about the window I was sitting at, coming within inches of the screen, and subsequently, my face, which I thought was pretty fucking cool at the time.

I retired to my bedchamber and promptly fell into a remarkably lucid dream, which unlike most didn't fade from a normal dream to lucid, but was lucid from the beginning. I woke to find that my room had somehow managed to be filled with bats, fluttering all over the damned place and hanging from the ceiling, as bats are want to do. I watched them fly around for a few minutes, wondering just how in the fuck they'd gotten in in the first place. It was then that I took note that my window was open (with the screen still firmly in place, mind you) and that it was actually pretty fucking chilly in my room. Resolving to ignore the obviously trivial dreambats, I pulled my covers over myself, intent on slipping out of this lucid state and going to sleep for reals. No sooner had I decided to not bother with the bats than a firm grip took my hand as I let the covers fall.

It was at this point and time that I nearly shat myself. I found myself staring at my ceiling in my room with the door locked, and SOMEBODY had just grabbed my fucking hand. Though I was still convinced I was dreaming, I was no less terrified, and eventually managed to force my gaze down to my hand. The hand holding mine was black, like coal, and a large, folded sleeve obscured the wrist. I did not let go. There was a sudden jolt as the bats and hand vanished, though the grip remained for two full minutes after I'd fully awakened. I know. I watched the fucking clock for two minutes while an invisible hand held mine up in the air.

After frantically lighting every candle I could find, which is a lot, mind you, I proceeded to check the apartment thoroughly. I found no one. The doors, both mine and the apartment's were locked.

The next day I was rewarded with a large, oak desk, like the kind you'd see in a swanky office, for what I now know was passing the test. At the time I was content with a freebie.

After researching a thing or two, I came across some old Greecian texts describing the underworld in great detail. In the Fields of Asphodel, the first area a spirit passes through, chosen spirits of the blessed or heroes wander aimlessly, surrounded by the spirits of mundane folk, twittering and flitting about them in the form of bats. These spirits either move on to the next leg of their journey, or remain lost in these clouds of bats, wandering aimlessly, trying to regain their mortality. I realized then that the hand had only taken mine AFTER I had made up my mind to ignore the bats, and while it scared the shit out of me at the time, it wasn't hostile...plus, nothing hostile could get into my room anyway. You've seen the place. It's a fucking magical fortress. I realize that the grip belonged to none other than Hades himself, who is known not only for scaring the living shit out of his followers, but for his stern countenance.

From what I can gather, I have two more tests ahead of me: The choice between Lethe and Mnemosyne in Erebus, and to be judged by Minos, Rhadamanthys, and Aeacus in the Trivium of Hecate. I just hope I'm a high enough level when I get there...I don't know what happens if you don't pass.

Also? New desk = Room+1

Somehow it just keeps getting MORE awesome.

Current Location: The Jenkintown Apartment
Current Mood: accomplished
Current Music: Inkubus Sukkubus - The Beast In Us

So.

I just finished watching 28 Weeks Later.

Now, I love 28 Days Later. A fantastic film. One of my favorites. I own it, even, and those of you that know me know I NEVER buy films.

In 28 weeks later we follow the American lead (shock/surprise) NATO force that moves into London after the infected have starved to death. The Island is deemed free of infection, and America once again leads the way in rebuilding a nation that, ultimately, it has no obligation to help.

The film opens with Don and Alice holed up in a house shortly after the infection began to spread, surviving quite nicely with a ragtag bunch of misfits in the dark, content to be ignored by the raving, red eyed lunatics outside. The couple's children had evacuated the island straight away, at Don's request, so the two are simply going to wait it out and then meet up with their kids later. That is, until some other little shit comes banging on the door. Sure enough, this child leads a raging mob of infected straight to them. Don kicks the shit out of quite a few with a crowbar while his wife and the kid run upstairs, and the rest of the survivors get mauled in the barn. Don then heads on upstairs himself, only to find that the stupid little shit of a child has locked himself in a closet and his wife won't leave without them. Don, being the smart fellow that he is, takes his leave when the infected burst through the door and grab his wife, because the dumb bitch refuses to leave the kid she just met behind. Of course, the movie portrays Don as a coward, but I see Don as the only motherfucker with a brain, because he doesn't try to help his infected comrades. He fucking runs from them like he should.

Anyhoo, fast forward 28 weeks. The US military has secured a chunk of London, locked it down, and is slowly but surely cleaning up the outlying areas. Refugees are being allowed back into London, and everything is fuckin' peachy...until Don's kids come back. Sure enough, the first two children in the fucking country manage to do something stupid, venturing into the unsecured zone to retrieve some fucking shoes and trinkets from their old home. (FYI - You can live without your fucking chucks) In the process, they find Alice, who seemed to have exhibited a freak immunity to the rage virus. she's a carrier of the deadly bug, but not effected by it. Don, finding this out, sneaks into the sealed medical lab where she is being held (because apparently janitors have super-top secret security clearance) to see her and apologize for what he and the movie seem to think was a cowardly act, never mind that he was the only one who actually fought the infected at the time. She forgives him, tells him she loves him, and they kiss. Aw, how sweet. I was overjoyed when he was infected by her saliva and proceeded to transform before her eyes and then kill her brutally as she was restrained on her gurney (bonus points for eye gouge).

So, Infected Don goes on a rampage, tearing apart marines (who, which I give the movie much credit for, have their weapons unloaded, as per NATO and UN regulations, meaning that the UN helps once again to fuck up an otherwise solid plan) and infecting everyone he can. Here's where the movie turns shitty. Up until this point it was a surreal trip into a post apocalyptic wasteland, and while enjoyable, the next few moments of the movie are a key turning point. For some reason, someone thought it would be a good idea to lock all the refugees in a car-park, for their own safety. Of course, Don had already gotten in there, being the sneaky, smarter than average character zombie that he is. He then infects the shit out of most of the refugees, and with the rooftop snipers under orders to 'only shoot infected' it turns into a giant clusterfuck.

So, we're left with Sgt. Doyle, a Delta Force sniper, some Major Scarlet Ross, from the medical unit, suvivors 1 through 3, and the two kids Tammy and Andy, running around like fucking idiots in a pitch black London as infected run around, also like idiots. Survivors 1 and 3 get shot to shit by a marine sharpshooter, then the city is firebombed, somehow missing a vast majority of the infected. The ragtag bunch then stops at a carnival, meets up with Flynn, a chopper pilot, and survivor 2 gets his shit wrecked when he tries to leap onto the runners of the helicopter as it leaves. Flynn, being a badass black man with a helicopter, uses the chopper's blades to mow down a mob of infected, because that would fucking work, apparently.

Then there's chemical weapons and poison grey gas clouds, inside which are hazmat clad marines with flamethrowers torching everything in sight. Look, I didn't write it, it was just a convenient as fuck way to kill Doyle, the only worthwhile character in the fucking movie. Apparently these hazmat marines have a hard time telling that the well armed Delta force soldier with a bandana over his face pushing a fucking car out of the gas cloud isn't infected. Maybe he's a mechanically inclined zombie who wants to do a driving tour of the countryside? You never know.

Then there's some bullshit night vision sequence where Major Ross guides the two little idiot children through a pitch black subway with the scope of Doyle's rifle, which he left with her. It was long, tedious, and ended in a quite satisfying fashion when the annoying major was jumped by Don and beaten to death with the rifle she apparently missed learning how to use in basic training.

Then Don bites Andy, Tammy shoots Don in what I guess was supposed to be a moving scene reminiscent of Frank's death in the first film, and we find out that Andy carries the immunity...and now the virus. Flynn picks them up at the stadium, they fly across the channel, and then Paris gets infected...again, apparently, since that happened in the first movie, too.

So, there you have it. Apparently the US military was TRYING to fuck that one up, because that's the only way they could have been such a convenient plot device for making the situation worse. Janitors have high level security clearance, eye color is tied to immunity to the rage virus (don't ask), marines are quick to shoot each other whenever possible, helicopters are melee weapons, surviving is cowardly, and nobody, anywhere, has a fucking tank. Also, children will always find a way to fuck it up, but you can't shoot them, because they're children. Also, the concept of a wall is foreign to everyone but the germans, apparently, as nothing but rickety fences were put up around the secure area. I was also impressed with how the massive amount of troops vanished the second the infected got out. We broke the sound barrier between a full regiment down to a single firegroup and a helicopter...which then shot at the survivors.

Great movie if you only watch the first half or so. Two thumbs down.

Tags: 28 weeks later, bad movie, infected, rage
Current Location: London Quarantine
Current Mood: RAGE
Current Music: Acid Rock and Growling

Oh ho ho ho!

That was, by far, with no possible doubt visible on any of the myriad horizons of this or any other 'verse the wackiest, most fucking crazy party we have ever thrown. Words cannot possibly convey the rigorous epicness that manifested itself in our midst.

This one will go down in the record books, people. Record. Books.

Current Location: The Jenkintown Apartment
Current Mood: chipper
Current Music: Radio Static. What the fuck, radio?

So, I had another dream about Liz. I average one every few days, so it's not particularly new to me. After wallowing in depression for a few minutes, a sudden realization struck me like a stab in the ass from the spah I thought was a medic.

This is why I blew it with her.

This fucking cowering, self depricating, doubting bullshit is what fucked my state of mind and convinced me that breaking up with her was a good idea in the first place. I may look confident on the outside, but generally speaking, I'm an emotional train wreck. Always have been. So, you know what? I'm not going to do it any more. I'm fucking done. DONE.

I'm finally going to do all the things I should have done back then. I'm really going to get in shape. I'm actually going to work when I go to work. I'm going to work more so I have more money. I'm going to go out to bars and have fun. Most importantly: I'm not going to doubt myself any more. I'm going to be the person I should have been for her.

Spah sappin' mah depression. Let's fucking rock, world.

Current Location: Truth
Current Mood: accomplished
Current Music: The Ressurection of Whiskey Foote - The Hidden Hand

http://news.aol.com/story/_a/nearly-100-arrested-in-college-drug-bust/20080506134909990001

"Those arrested included a student who was about to receive a criminal justice degree and another who was to receive a master's degree in homeland security."

My, it's a good thing we got that pot of the streets and put those scumbags in jail. I'd hate to think what would happen if people who weren't academic superstars got their hands on them. For anyone who can read between the lines, here's more glaring evidence that drugs are in fact not as damaging as they seem. I have a hard time believing that kid lucked into a masters degree. Sadly, most of America will see this as proof of the corrupting influence of drugs, not as evidence that you can be perfectly successful even if you toke up from time to time.

Tags: bust, college, double standard, drugs, waste of time and money
Current Location: The Jenkintown apartment
Current Music: Heartache Every Moment - Him

While I don't agree with much of the Bush Admin's policy, I can, with a clear conscience as a democrat, say that he's gotten a hell of a bad rap for little more than being republican. The average American is far too stupid to take into consideration anything long term or the information that's readily available. Thanks to 4chan, I provide you with an internet gem:

The hypothetical Bush resignation speech

"Normally, I start these things out by saying, "My fellow Americans."

Not doing it this time. If the polls are any indication, I don't know who more than half of you are anymore.

I do know something terrible has happened, and that you're really not fellow Americans any longer.

I'll cut right to the chase here: I quit. Now before anyone gets all in a lather about me quitting to avoid impeachment, or to avoid prosecution or something, let me assure you: There's been no breaking of laws or impeachable offenses in this office.

The reason I'm quitting is simple: I'm fed up with you people.

I'm fed up because you have no understanding of what's really going on in the world – or of what's going on in this once-great nation of ours. And the majority of you are too damn lazy to do your homework and figure it out.

Let's start local. You've been sold a bill of goods by politicians and the news media. Polls show that the majority of you think the economy is in the tank. And that's despite record numbers of homeowners, including record numbers of minority homeowners. And while we're mentioning m minorities, I'll point out that minority business ownership is at an all-time high. Our unemployment rate is as low as it ever was during the Clinton administration. I've mentioned all those things before, but it doesn't seem to have sunk in.

Despite the shock to our economy of 9/11, the stock market has rebounded to record levels, and more Americans than ever are participating in these markets. Meanwhile, all you can do is whine about gas prices, and most of you are too damn stupid to realize that gas prices are high because there's increased demand in other parts of the world, and because a small handful of noisy idiots are more worried about polar bears and beachfront property than your economic security.

We face real threats in the world. Don't give me this "blood for oil" thing. If I were trading blood for oil, I would've already seized Iraq's oil fields and let the rest of the country go to hell. And don't give me this "Bush Lied; People Died" crap either. If I were the liar you morons take me for, I could've easily had chemical weapons planted in Iraq so they could be "discovered." Instead, I owned up to the fact that the intelligence was faulty.

Let me remind you that the rest of the world thought Saddam had the goods, same as me. Let me also remind you that regime change in Iraq was official U.S. policy before I came into office. Some guy named Clinton established that policy. Bet you didn't know that, did you?

You idiots need to understand that we face a unique enemy. Back during the Cold War, there were two major competing political and economic models squaring off. We won that war, but we did so because fundamentally the Communists wanted to survive, just as we do. We were simply able to outspend and out-tech them.

That's not the case this time. The soldiers of our new enemy don't care if they survive. In fact, they want to die. That'd be fine, as long as they weren't also committed to taking as many of you with them as they can. But they are. They want to kill you, and the bastards are all over the globe.

You should be grateful they haven't gotten any more of us here in the United States since Sept. 11. But you're not. That's because you've got no idea how hard a small number of intelligence, military, law enforcement and homeland security people have worked to make sure of that. When this whole mess started, I warned you that this would be a long and difficult fight. I'm disappointed how many of you people think a long and difficult fight amounts to a single season of "Survivor."

Instead, you've grown impatient. You're incapable of seeing things through the long lens of history, the way our enemies do. You think that wars should last a few months, a few years, tops.

Making matters worse, you actively support those who help the enemy. Every time you buy the New York Times, every time you send a donation to a cut-and-run Democrat's political campaign, well, dang it, you might just as well FedEx a grenade launcher to a jihadist. It amounts to the same thing.

In this day and age, it's easy enough to find the truth. It's all over the Internet. It just isn't on the pages of the New York Times or on NBC News. But even if it were, I doubt you'd be any smarter. Most of you would rather watch "American Idol."

I could say more about your expectations that the government will always be there to bail you out, even if you're too stupid to leave a city that's below sea level and has a hurricane approaching.

I could say more about your insane belief that government, not your own wallet, is where the money comes from. But I've come to the conclusion that were I to do so, it would sail right over your heads.

So I quit. I'm going back to Crawford; I've got an energy-efficient house down there (Al Gore could only dream) and the capability to be fully self-sufficient. No one ever heard of Crawford before I got elected, and as soon as I'm done here pretty much no one will ever hear of it again. Maybe I'll be lucky enough to die of old age before the last pillars of America fall.

Oh, and by the way, Cheney's quitting, too. That means Pelosi is your new president. You asked for it. Watch what she does carefully, because I still have a glimmer of hope that there are just enough of you remaining who are smart enough to turn this thing around in 2008.

So that's it. God bless what's left of America. Some of you know what I mean. The rest of you, kiss off."

Had a dream about her this morning. Not how I wanted to start my day, honestly. If my teachers weren't suddenly taking attendance, I wouldn't even have gotten up...but I have to, now.

I'd have preferred to keep dreaming.

The new CEO of Virgin Media, Neil Berkett, has openly stated in an interview that they think net neutrality is “a load of bollocks” and claimed they're already doing deals to deliver some people’s content faster than others. They would then put websites and services that don't pay Virgin in the "slow lane", meaning those sites would load slowly and cause most users to give up using them, feeling forced to use whatever Virgin wants to push through their network.

This is not the first time an internet provider infringes upon net neutrality, but it is the first time that an ISP so brutally states that they simply plan to limit internet access to a television-like system in which the access provider completely regulates the content you have access to.

Virgin Media has over 3.5 million customers in the UK and the real danger is that when they start applying this system to their network, all major internet providers around the globe will soon follow the trend. Because this is exactly what major ISP's have been wanting to do for years.

But we can stop it.

If the masses of the internet react against this, we will set an example of what happens when one provider tries to take away our freedom. We will make it very clear that any ISP who tries to infringe upon net neutrality will see its popularity go down the drain because the users don't accept it. And we'll see to it that only the providers who care about safeguarding our internet freedom have our support.

Speak out in any way you can and spread the word.

http://stopvirgin.movielol.org/

Tags: bollocks, lullz, net neutrality, virgin mobile
Current Location: The Jenkintown Apartment
Current Mood: amused
Current Music: Jewel - Under the Water